Unfriendly matter

DISCLAIMER: I am not implying that the following happened because I ate this scary piece of meat. This scary piece of meat was delicious, and I know for a fact that it did not cause the following to happen. I ate this scary piece of meat in Kenya. I’m not in Kenya anymore. That was forever ago. So go on out there and eat that scary piece of meat if you want to! Truth is, this was a randomly (ok, not so much) selected picture for this blog post… since I definitely didn’t photograph what happened to me yesterday.

Sorry for being a long lost blogger. The film crew is in town, and we’ve been traveling, and the dog ate my computer… well, I guess that last one isn’t true. Anyways, I’m sorry and I promise to try really hard to never let it happen again. Do you forgive me? Whew, ok! Now that we have that out of the way, I just HAVE to tell you about last night…

It is hard to believe that just 24 hours ago I was curled up on the bathroom floor in so much pain that I was asking God for the super awesome ability to just pass out. Ben was on his way back from the coffee hills and I was with the kids when stomach pains from another world hit me. Let’s just say that the last time I was in that much pain I was trying to bring a stubborn baby boy into this world. I was under attack by some unfriendly amoebas. Our trusty sidekick Moise, who literally runs this house, stayed late and kept the kids busy so that I could… well, you probably don’t need to know about the vomiting and the diarrhea, but there it is anyway. Ben finally arrived and was greeted by a sea of (for the sake of my humanness let’s not say vomit and stinky poo, really, let’s not. Let’s stick to…) “unfriendly matter.” He’s a brave and incredible man for stepping over that threshold of “unfriendly matter.” He had two big huge pills for me to swallow. Amoeba blasting pills.

Our lovely new doctor friend from Canada, Danica, also came over. I was in so much pain that I barely remember her being there, although I do remember that she had a really cute shirt on. Fun, bright colors. Yep, that’s about it. She gave me some more stuff to swallow, hopefully to take away the pain. I was a wet stinky mess, so God bless Danica for even setting foot in that room.

As soon as she left I began itching. All over. At first it was a nice distraction from the pain in my stomach, but then it just got downright intense. Ben called Danica. It was clear that I was a wee bit allergic to those two giant pills I had swallowed. So down went the allergy medicine. At this point I was a walking pharmacy and also resembled a tipsy and very scary looking woman when I tried to get to the bathroom. But, the worst was over.

And the moral of the story? Amoebas are awful. Really, really awful.