Expanding.

Last night we signed papers to sell the house. It is a solid offer, and we”ll know within a few days if the whole thing is going through. I know it will, I can feel it. This is it. In eight weeks we will have the family packed and we will be leaving the place that I have called home for nearly a decade. The home I brought my children home from the hospital to. The home where we’ve had countless parties and numerous family style suppers, to the sound of the African night birds and the sight of twinkling fairy lights. We’ve hosted countless guests from all over the world here. Grandparents. Friends from college. Friends of friends. They have all had a space here. This is our home. Here we have journeyed into the people we have become. We’ve… Become parents here. Laughed here. Cried here. Lost things. Gained things. Failed. Succeeded. Pursued a big dream. Seen it come to life, seen it flourish, seen it move us.

As I was photographing the most beautiful pregnant woman in the world yesterday, I could not help but think… as this baby comes, we will leave. Two births at one time. I feel tied to this baby I have not met, but already love. We are linked, because this baby is our starting marker. We will look back on life with these friends and say, “Don’t you remember, we left for Burundi when she was born.” As that baby grows multitudes every day inside her adoring mom, I am aware that this is urgent. Time is overpoweringly short, and this little baby girl has become my inspiration. She reminds me every day that I have to grow too. If I can not expand my comfort zone every day and embrace this journey every day I know I will fail to meet this amazing year head-on.

Despite the sadness at leaving this house and this life, I am awe struck at the perfect timing of it all. Had we sold the house at any other time, we would have had to rent somewhere else before we left and it would have put our family in an uncomfortable limbo. For this perfect timing, I credit God in all his amazing-timing-ness. I am very grateful, and very sad. Now I have to decide what parts of my life will fit into 6 suitcases and one vehicle that will journey with Ben on an 11 day drive from Durban, up through the heart of Africa, hopefully arriving in one piece in Burundi. He will drive a vehicle that we have not bought yet, and that we have no idea how we will afford, on roads that I am trying desperately not to worry about, through countries that make my totally nervous. Here. We. Go. It’s time to trust.

Luv,

Kristy